| Remembering 2008 |
[Jan. 4th, 2009|11:29 pm] |
What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Went on a cruise, witnessed the birth of my godchild, had to evacuate my home due to Hurricane Gustav, enjoy a wedding anniversary, visit new york with chad, call a plumber, start a business, play in the snow in front of my house, rescued a dog from a shelter, went to lunch at commander's palace, went to Bourbon with my mom and aunt on Mardi Gras day, say goodbye to two good friends who are moving away.
( Read More... ) |
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| Night Terrors |
[Dec. 19th, 2008|12:04 pm] |
Chad woke up screaming again last night at 2am. I am a zombie today. I'm doing everything I can not to fall asleep on the keyboard at work.
Watch this video - I did some research on Night Terrors and this is really similar to what happens, except Chad doesn't get out of bed and run. He just sits up and screams and thrashes around and usually grabs me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quVJ5ZeVn_U
The way that guy is screaming like he is terrified is exactly the same. Chad screams about 5 times and it seems like forever. He screams like I have never heard someone scream before. He takes deep breaths and just screams like someone is murdering him. I just covered my face and ears until he stopped. And then I cried my eyes out. Big, heaving, uncontrollable sobs. It is one of the most frightening experiences I have ever had. And I never know when it's going to happen. In the past year, this has probably happened about 5 times.
When it first started happening I would comfort him. Now, he has to comfort me because I am so shaken up. Afterward, he can easily go right back to sleep. I try to ask him "What was it??? Why are you screaming?" And he nonchalantly says he saw someone standing "over there." He's not afraid once he wakes up, but I am. I am afraid it will happen again and I'm afraid to go back to sleep. I'm afraid there really was someone in the room. I'm afraid I'll resent him. |
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| Our new venture |
[Dec. 4th, 2008|10:25 am] |
Buy an animal print handbag for Christmas!
I haven't updated in months. I've got a new blog (http://www.paintedponypurses.com) to promote our website where I write about purses we have and sometimes personal stuff. I have a few pictures from our New York trip on there. I'll try to write more soon! |
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| Best Buy Fraud |
[May. 24th, 2008|02:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  enraged | ] |
Chad purchased a $1,200 HD Video Camera from Best Buy (on the westbank) on Tuesday night. He got home and opened the box and a cheaper, $300 camera and accessories were in the box, along with some of the correct merchandise - like the remote control. It was clearly tampered with, but had the "14 day return policy" Best Buy sticker on top of the factory seal, so we had no idea if the factory seal had been broken or not. We immediately took everything back to the store, fully expecting to receive the correct camera that we actually purchased, but instead were told by the sales woman and 2 managers that there was nothing they could do because the box had been opened and therefore the seal had been broken, and they basically called my husband a thief and offered no recourse for us to get the merchandise we actually paid for. They called the National office while he was in the store but would not let my husband speak for himself, and said to the National office, "I'm not calling Mr. Lee a thief but..." Chad went back to the store this week multiple times and finally found out that the General Manager of Best Buy is the only person who can make a decision to help us on this, but his wife is in the hospital and he doesn't keep a set schedule so they don't know when he will be in. (Who knows if this is true beacuse they have lied to us before.) Everyone except 1 guy has been completely rude and accusatory toward us. DO NOT BUY FROM BEST BUY. THEY HAVE HORRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE. We have filed a complaint with BBB and plan to file with the Attorney General, we're posting our story on forums, blogs, we consulted with a lawyer and we aren't going to stop! We called our credit card company and got a temporary credit, but will need to fill out paperwork to ensure this goes to the next step. Visa will take the money back from Best Buy and Best Buy has 60 days to dispute that and it's possible they could come back and re-charge us. Just let everyone know to either boycott Best Buy or check every box you buy from them to make sure it is sealed and even then, open the box after purchase in front of an employee, because otherwise they will assume you are a thief when all you wanted was a an HD Video Camera dammit!
End rant! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2007|11:39 pm] |
Our plane from Aruba had just touched down in Houston on Sunday night when I checked my voicemail and heard from my dad that LSU was going to the National Championship. I was so excited I literally cried tears of joy. Chad said I didn't even get that excited when he proposed.........
I know I'm a freak! But seriously, I am so excited about that!
Oh, and the honeymoon was wonderful and married life is great and all that. :o) |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 9th, 2007|11:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
OH
Well I guess I should say, after reading my previous entries about Atlanta, that we are NOT, in fact, going to Atlanta. Chad got a job on the westbank of New Orleans (In Marrero - literally 2 minutes from my grandpa's house, how funny). He's going to be doing lord know what with computers and databases and software for............ Planet beach tanning salons. Their headquarters are in Marrero. It's kind of odd but he'll be getting an 18% increase in pay and doing something that he thinks is much more interesting, PLUS it brings him home to me!! He is actually moving his stuff from Dallas as I write this. YAY!! |
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| Decided |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|11:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
So it's pretty much decided that Chad and I will move to Atlanta in the near future. The way it's looking now, he will move there at the end of May, and I will move in November/December. We kept saying the most important thing was for us to be together during our engagement, but now it seems like it's more important to start heading in the direction we want our lives to go... There are more opportunities for Chad in Atlanta than there are in New Orleans and Baton Rouge combined, so it wouldn't make sense for him to park himself here for 6 months and then move again. He wants to think long-term but I am still stuck on the short-term. God this is going to suck! But it's nice to hear that when I move to Atlanta I can take as long as I want looking for a job while I pretty-up our townhouse that we might buy. We are going to look in April.
Now, I just don't know how I'm going to tell my parents this without them having a meltdown. :( |
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| Empowered!! |
[Feb. 27th, 2007|07:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  enthralled | ] |
Everyone needs to take a self defense class. Not just because it's important to know how to defend yourself in case of an attack, but because it feels fucking awesome to flip a grown man over onto his back!!! I was taught how to do that if someone came up behind me and started chocking me. It is suprisingly simple. Pull his arm away from your neck and try to take a deep breath, spread your feet apart, bend about 6 inches down and "genuflect" - aka - bring your right knee down to the ground and to the left while thrusting your shoulders forward and VIOLA - grown man flies over you and slams down on the ground. What a rush!!
This was at 12:30 today and I am still excited about it. I can't wait to try it out on Chad! I might hurt him though :) |
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| What are you doing with the rest of your life... |
[Feb. 18th, 2007|10:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
I'm unhappy. I cry for no reason. The only thing I can attribute it to is missing Chad so much. But I wonder if that is the root cause. I am unhappy at my job. I'm lonely. I miss my family more and more which is weird because I am actually spending more time with them on the weekends. I just don't know what it is but I hate feeling this way. The work I do is unfulfilling and thankless, tedious, clerical bullshit. But even worse than that -- I dont even think I am happy with my chosen degree and career path. I don't know how much more of this I can take before my soul is sucked away. At Jinny's wedding I found myself so jealous that she was up there and not me -- God, when will this wait be over!? It seems like it will never get here. November 24th, the day my life truly begins. That's how I've been seeing it. That stupid quote is so true. "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." |
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| Stuff on my mind |
[Nov. 28th, 2006|09:34 pm] |
It is officially less than a year until I am a married lady. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. It's a scary thought. Chad thinks I am commitment phobic because when we were first going out I didn't want to date him because I was afraid of messing up a good thing of friendship. I don't think it's that, though. I think I am more afraid of change than anything else. I can commit to Chad and promise to love him and only him forever, no problem. But when I start getting anxious is when I start thinking about how my life will change once I am a "wife". No more weekends at my parent's house, sleepovers with the girls, or walking out the door and not telling a single soul where I am going. Who knows where we will live or which one of us will have a job?
Ok anyway. Anybody know anything about wedding photographers? I am putting off narrowing it down... they are expensive and it's annoying trying to decipher the value of different packages they offer.
Thanksgiving was way too short. Good thing the kiddies are coming back for Christmas! But I only have one day off :( Chad suggested I take a few days without pay... and that blew my mind. Is that like, something people do? I got 0 vacation days for this year even though I was hired in July so it really sucks. |
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| I'M AN IDIOT! |
[Oct. 11th, 2006|08:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
I have been reading my friends page for WEEKS and wondering why no one has updated... and then finally tonight I realized I was never logged in. WOW. I was wondering where everyone went or if everyone blocked me. Ahh. I have some catching up to do.
I'm finally pretty settled in my new apartment and no longer scared of the things that go bump in the night. For a while there, I was crying because I was so scared of being alone.. it is very odd at first. Every noise that I hear and can't explain just freaked me out to the point that I wanted to call the police. It just took some getting used to. I'm a horrible decorator and don't have much motivation so if I didn't unpack a box the first few days I was here, it is still sitting in the spot I dropped it. My life consists of going to work, driving home, eating, watching tv, and shitting around on the computer. It's really not exciting at all.
Wedding plans are coming along... booked the church and the reception hall. DRAMA with the reception hall... but I am happy with it finally. It's going to be at The Balcony in Metairie. It seems to have a lot to offer that no other reception place has, so it is worth the cost. I think it will be very elegant.
Chad and I met with our priest a few times and took a personality/lifestyle matching test. We scored high on everything except Religion and Values. We already knew that, though.
I'm going to Dallas this weekend for our 3 year anniversary. We're gonna go check out the State Fair of Texas, woo hoo! It is frustrating as shit being apart from him. We've been apart for about 5 months now and we may have to do it until next November. We have this crazy relationship.. it almost seems as though I don't really have a fiance... I have a relationship with the videocam or the phone, but not him in person. And then when I go visit or he comes here it's like heaven... 100% us and nothing else. Relationships aren't supposed to flow like that... it's so unnatural and it's driving me crazy. I still call him my boyfriend when I talk about him, it seems strange to say fiance. I hate that we're not together right now during this extremely fun and special time in our lives!!!! AH!
I think I should get a raise at work. I planned the annual employee service awards banquet for 130 people at Lod Cook and I thought it went really well. I was nervous as hell and thought I was going to puke standing up there in front of everyone the whole time. People say I did a good job but I feel like it's just them feeling like they have to say it. But.. I do think I did a decent job under the circumstances (i.e. I did EVERYTHING by myself, down to printing labels for programs and making nametags, to booking the caterer and planning the menu, handing out awards, ordering flowers and folding and stuffing and tracking replies and corresponding with the Vice President and President of the COMPANY!!) UGH. Seriously.
I just ate popcorn and melted like a cup of butter and poured it on there. I noticed the other day when I put on a dress that I actually have an ass. I have never had an ass. What is going on? Instead of the freshman 15 I think it's the graduate 15.
DUDE I can't wait to get married!
POLL: Should I, or shouldn't I invite an ex-boyfriend with whom I have 'kept in touch' for over 4 years to my wedding? |
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| I'm here! |
[Aug. 22nd, 2006|08:12 pm] |
I haven't updated or responded to the surveys that tagged me but I'm still here... still reading... and I want to do it eventually. I don't have an apartment or place to live in BR at the moment but that will change this weekend, so I've been going back and forth between work and home and a friend's house. I feel so disorganized and just messed up. I have a million things going on and its sooo stressful. By next week I will have made 5 round trips to and from BR in 7 days. We're celebrating Nicole's bday this weekend in NO like we were supposed to do last year until Katrina ruined everything.
Chad and I set the wedding date for November 24, 2007! I need a lot of time to plan this biotch and think of ways to get by on a budget. There's lots of cute DIY stuff I have seen but that nonsense takes time and who has time to do that stuff while working?? I have some good friends and mom to help though.
Chad is buying and building me a computer for a really early Christmas and Birthday present. I'm excited... I think my 4 year old laptop has just about had it.
I plan to buy a house in BR next year when my apt lease is up. How grown up is that?! |
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| Ok, so I'm engaged! |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|07:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
I have been wanting to write about this for some time now but haven't found the right words that will do it justice. I guess the important thing is that Chad and I are getting married next year! We are thinking October 2007 has a nice ring to it. My roommates are going wild over it and can't wait to help plan. Jessica is already emailing me ten thousand websites a day. We have a very good basic idea of what we want, and we just need to set a budget. We'll both be able to save some money in the coming year and hopefully our parents will contribute what they can. I may post pictures of my ring but I hate when people fuss over stuff like that because that's not what is the most important. The most important thing is that I have found the man that is going to make me happy for the rest of my life, through good times and bad. I still feel like a little girl inside and that people will think less of me because I am young. But Chad thinks I should hold on to that youthful feeling because that is what makes us, US! I'll write more about it eventually, I'm sure. I just hope I don't turn into a bridezilla....... :o) |
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| I am so in over my head! |
[Jul. 12th, 2006|11:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | distressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Fray - Over My Head | ] |
Life since graduation... kind of sucks. The critical point to the suckage of life stems from the fact that Chad and I are over 7 hours apart from each other now instead of 7 seconds. We both have a lot going on and it would be 100,000,000 times better if we could share it with each other in other means than just the phone and gmail chat. BUT such is life right now and for the near future so I will try not to dwell on that. I am about to sign a new lease in a new apartment (The Warwick on Jefferson Hwy) in a new area of town and I will be living alone and I am scared to death. I am scared to death that the little voices in my head won't be drowned out anymore by the sound of my roommates hustling about and I will go crazy! I'm scared to death that I will be lonely and pathetic. I am scared that I will be afraid of everything and everyone that makes a sound or knocks on my door because I do that even when I'm here and I have 3 roommates and no reason to be scared. I'm scared that I won't like the place and I am paying out of my ASS for it. I am scared that I won't save enough money for my wedding... which is my next big expenditure that I would like to save for so that it can be perfect but you can't really save $10,000 in 1 or 2 years off my salary can you? No you cannot. I don't have a lick of furniture to put in my new apartment which I move into on August 26th - Sept 4 (I'm thinking it will take a while to lug everything up from Destrehan). I will be sleeping on a mattress on the floor for a while I think?? Who knows. Wow I really feel grown up though. I think I will like living alone for some of the time and despise it others. I already know I will live with the TV and all the lights on but that's okay because electricity is included in the rent! Man oh man.
I like planning. Planning is my thing. So just for fun, here is my plan for the next few years of my life. Step 1 is to get engaged to the love of my life. I am not sure when this will be, but I am hopeful it is coming soon. :) Then we will gauge how long the whole planning phase will take for a wedding and set the date as soon as possible. (March - June or November - December 2007 because I refuse to have my plans ruined by a hurricane or January - June of 2008). Chad and I will be working hard through the planning phase at our jobs, saving money, and Chad will launch his baby www.digitizedphotography.com. We will also be flying to visit each other at least every 3 weeks in the meantime. We'll get married and our leases will be timed just perfectly so that they are finished and we can find a place together either in Dallas or wherever our hearts desire (home or Atlanta maybe?) And we will live happily ever after.
I am a loser, I know, you don't have to tell me.
Thinking thoughts like that get me through the long weeks in Baton Rouge though.
I feel like I'm going to lose touch with my friends. 2 have moved home to New Orleans and 1 is moving into Tiger Plaza with someone she barely knows because I didn't let her know in time that I wanted to stay in BR instead of going to Dallas. It's really really scary. We all talk on gmail chat at work which I think is amusing. All of our lives resemble Office Space in one way or another.
THe only good thing about being here is I'll be close to the family and at a job where I am relatively happy. Focus on the positives! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2006|10:02 pm] |
Albemarle gave me a very nice job offer for a permanent position and I turned it down because I want to try to find a job in Dallas to be close to Chad. I've applied online to about 7 - 10 jobs so far and haven't heard a thing. Granted, it has only been a week, but still. I still work full time at ALB but I have a feeling they are looking to replace me pretty soon.
BTW, Crash was an excellent movie if anyone needs something good to rent and hasn't seen it yet. I watched Brokeback Mountain yesterday and I have no idea why it won best picture or whatever it was. Mark Ruffalo is a cute actor. Wow I really cannot think of anything else to write. |
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| No one can find the rewind button, girl |
[May. 15th, 2006|11:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  guilty | ] |
Ok. Chad is playing star wars, my mom is asleep, and i wouldnt really talk to my friends about this anyway unless the subject came up, so here it goes. I am Cristina. I realized after watching Grey's Anatomy (as pathetic as it may sound that a tv show can speak to my soul) that I have trouble facing difficult situations with the people I love the most. A lot of times when I think of my grandmother I start crying. After 3 years you would think that the pain might drift away but something is still hanging on. That something, I have just figured out, is regret. I couldn't really put my finger on it before, until I watched the show, why I would just cry when I thought of her. I found out she had cancer when I was in 8th or 9th grade and she didn't die until my freshman year of college. The entire time that she had cancer I would never let myself face it. I would pretend that everything was fine and ignore it. When she had her surgeries I just acted like it was some run of the mill thing. When she was burned from the chemo I just pretended it was all going to be ok and it was no big deal. When she started falling and couldn't drive anymore I guess I just thought it would somehow get better... When her arm was swollen I made a comment about it and she made an offhand joke about it killing her. When she started going bald and I watched my mom shave her head, she joked about it growing back curly because she always wanted curly hair. She always made jokes about it and found a way to laugh through the pain. That horrible pain she was in. I didn't even know the half of it. I didn't even want to know. I didn't ask. I stayed away. I was a horrible granddaughter. I hate myself for doing that. I hate myself for not letting the pain in and being int he moment and fully realizing what was happening to my gran. Because NOW i feel like i am fully realizing what happened and she isn't here to talk about it with and god I miss her so much it's ridiculous. I can't breathe. I miss her so much.She should be here. I am graduating from college. She would bring this event so much happiness and I miss her here. I know it's selfish to think this way because i know she's in a better place but it's so hard because i cant see her and hug her and hear her laugh and sneeze. My human side needs her and my spiritual side is having trouble feeling her and knowing she's with me.
I think I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I kept her at a distance during the last few years of her life. It was so hard for me.. I didn't know how to deal with it. The only way I knew how was to observe and try to not let it affect me. I have this one image in my head of her in her wheelchair in the kitchen. It was around Christmas, I think. She always made tons of christmas cookies for people but this year she couldn't do it herself. My mom was helping her in the kitchen and then Richie went to help her too... and I stood there in the living room and watched her. I just watched her, knowing I should go with them, knowing it was going to be difficult to see her rolling dough with one hand but knowing I should go anyway! I knew it. And I just stood there, watching her. I couldn't. I couldnt and i dont know why and i wish I would have. It's kind of stupid really but it feels like that moment defines me. Like Cristina looked away and couldn't help Burke.. I couldn't walk in that stupid ktichen and make stupid christmas cookies because I was a god damn coward. And I feel like I still am. I don't think I have changed. I am speechless in times where my brother or my mom or Chad needs comforting. My mom says she misses gran and I know she wants to talk about it and I am silent, or I say "yeah..." I mean what the hell is my problem? It just sucks to know that I'm the type of person who runs. The whole fight or flight response thing doesnt apply to me because apparently I will fly away at the slightest hint of anything scary, emotional, or sad. It's no wonder I am still so sad. I don't think I have let myself really deal with what happened. It's a really scary, traumatic, and life changing thing to watch someone you love die slowly before your eyes. But I guess that life-changing and traumatic part of it doesnt have to happen immediately because I think I am still dealing with it. She really isn't here. She really won't be here for my wedding. She really did die of cancer.
I guess I am going to distract myself with more tv now.
( 2 AM ) |
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| EL FIN!!! |
[May. 10th, 2006|09:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
I am finished college! Oh.. my... God.
This is an odd feeling. I don't have to study ever again. Wow.
Haha... I'm going to go have a drink. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 1st, 2006|10:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  scared | ] |
Anybody have anything to say about Dallas, TX? I'm asking because it may be my home in the near future... |
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| You sing a sad song just to turn it around |
[Apr. 23rd, 2006|11:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Daniel Powter - Bad Day | ] |
Sometimes I get into these moods or states where I feel so gloomy and down about everything. It's like I could just sit there and cry and think about everything that makes me sad. I feel like there's more to be sad and worried about than happy and excited about. I'm worried that I don't have a real purpose and that I'll feel like this the rest of my life if I don't figure it out. I'm scared of losing my parents and losing touch with my brother and family. It's sort of silly, really, but I think that I better hurry up and have kids so that they will be able to know their grandparents before they die. It's such a morbid thought, yet I can't get it out of my head sometimes. Why did God have to make my parents wait 12 years before they could have me? They are older than a lot of my friends parents. I can see them getting older before my very eyes and it is so scary. My daddy will be 60 years old at the end of the year and I think I will cry even harder than I am now when that day comes. Losing a parent must be one of the hardest things a person can go through. I really can't imagine much worse. Except, perhaps, losing a child.
I hope that I'm just feeling this way because things are kind of stressful right now and I'm feeling all kinds of weird emotions. In 2 weeks I will walk away from my last class at LSU and I don't quite know how I'll feel about it. I may very well fall to my knees in the gravel parking lot outside of CEBA and cry. Let's just hope I do it then and not at graduation where I would have much more makeup on and a lot more people around. |
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